|| Happy birthday baby Julian ||

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Dear Julian,

Its been six years since I lost you, Only God knows after so many years I still grieve. Behind closed doors I'm bitter, weak and heart broken. But among family and friends I'm fun, vibrant and full of life. But baby if they only knew, you took a part of me, losing you has been my biggest challenge and living without you has become a chore. Im damaged, your loss has damaged me, its weakened me to my knees, I see no happy ending, not in this life time not without you.

"Happy 6th birthday"

I'm afraid this tragedy has messed with my memory, It's been so long it seems almost like a dream. Its so real but yet so surreal, pictures and home videos keep your memory alive & engraved in my mind and the deepest part of my soul. Your loss has tested my faith and my strength. But as time passes I slowly heal, I now understand that you were given to me for a reason & that reason was to teach me to be strong and appreciate the value of life . To my guardian Angel I wish you happy happy birthday, may you watch over your brother Angel and I and always stand by our side.  || Julian Aquilino Ramos 10.30.08-05.02.09 ||

He was selfish

Saturday, October 25, 2014


In my most recent years of dating it has become a great challenge to find Mr.Right. Not only do I speak for myself, but for many women in the DMV area. Population 9,331,587 people (I looked that up so don't quote me on it) and based on that number I'm not quite sure of the male percentage, but I'm assuming a great deal of them are single, available males, My point with this statistic is that even with 9 million people and a few dogs I'm unable to find Mr. Right.

For many who know me often wonder why I am so determined in finding Mr. Right, many say I'm too young, too independent and too much of a feminist. They ask why on God's earth would I want to meet Mr. Right at this very moment when I should be enjoying myself and not settling down. The answer is simple, I'm not just looking for a quote on quote "boyfriend" what I'm looking for is a relatable and reliable partner, a best friend and someone to build an empire with. 

As I search and scour the ends of the earth for Mr. Big, I've come up with one conclusion, Mr. Right doesn't want to be found or at least not yet. Tick Tock, As this century progresses the pressure of dating becomes insanely intense and many men and women are constantly trying to prove that they're unattainable, uninterested and unavailable. The rules of dating have become mistranslated and shattered due to society!

What we need to understand is that the media is destroying our generation and the true meaning of love and courtship, when did it become so wrong to be in a monogamous relationship? Mens perception of dating has evolved to portray an image the media has made it out to be. Men think it's socially acceptable to have their quote on quote "bitches and hoes" and that women are out to trap them and their money.

Or perhaps it's just the men I'm choosing, men with other issues beyond commitment. Whatever the case may be I decided to put my quest on hold. I need to focus on myself, understand the value of my worth and know what it truly means to love one's self.

P.S No hope has been lost with the meaning of the post, just another window of opportunity for true love. 

Street style

Friday, October 24, 2014

Thank you, to all who have hurt me

Thursday, October 09, 2014

Hey readers,
So I wanted to do something a little different here on Millesimy, I wanted to thank all the people who have hurt me. Most of you are probably wondering why, why would I do such a thing!?!? For starters, I'm a strong believer that dwelling on the past is unhealthy, second because each one of these assholes has made an enormous difference in my persona and ultimately because I've become that much stronger, confident and overall a better human. A better human because I know how much it hurts to be hurt, lied and cheated on and I myself could never image causing such pain to others! Lets begin ......... Father: Thank you for never being there, because of you I know how to build my own furniture, change a tire, defend myself, paint, use a hammer properly, jump start a car, because of you I don't feel the need to depend on a man.
My first love: Thank you for cheating on me, because of you I have experienced a broken heart, learned to repair myself, learned to love myself first, know when someone is lying, cheating or deceiving me, because of you I was inspired to be great and always be better than you! & I am honored to say you are shit compared to me. best wishes fucker :) Jackie: Thank you for sleeping with my boyfriend, you're the reason why I choose my friends wisely My first boss: Thank you for being an asshole, because of you I developed tougher skin in the most intense and frustrating situations David: Thank you for never giving a fuck about your off spring, because of you I get to experience what it feels to be loved by my child and to not have to share it with you, because of you Angel will appreciate that much more High school teacher: Thank you for doubting me, thank you for trying to convince me to go to an alternative school, because of you I worked that much harder to gradate, with my class, enroll in to college and proveed you wrong! Thank you, because of you i've accomplished so much

?: Thank you, because of you I know that family doesn't necessarily mean that they have your best interest in mind

Editor: Fatima Abarca 

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